From: betty b 
Date: Sat May 26, 2001 5:55 pm
Subject:


HI
I have to talk to somebody aghin so here ia m again. I m drunk so this is
really hard to type but I just had such a horrilbe day that I have to tell
someone.
I think the last time I wrote Ferbuary or March and I guess I have been pretty
happy since then cause I have'nt felt like i needed to write.  I have had lots
of meetings with my super and that was okay.  He does nt even bother about
wheater I owe him rent now he just comes over when ever he feels like it on
schoolday mornings and I do it for him.
But see the thing is that even though I ghet turned on sucking his cosk adn
masturbating with a mouth or face full of spe4rm after it isn't really what i
want.  Wehn ecver iam masturbaating i a lways fantazise about sucking off young
guys .  Ever since tihs stupid stupid ffantasy of mine started it was always
about young guys usuing me .  the super5 was just who was available so I tried
to get what i really want and it all turned out werong today.  I have been
palnning thia for a while and have been coming into work late for a couple of
week fairly often so that I could try same blakmail thing that I did with my
super.  The manager is a the owners son and he is only in his mid twenties and
I have been fantasizing about sucking his cock for a while.  H is an okay guy
and I thought he would go for it beceause i had so Muc h sucssess with the
super but it didnt work.  he has spoken to me beforte about being late and
todya he called me into his office and I figgured that today would be the day
so when I follewsd hikm to the poffice I undid the top button on my uniform and
then when he went to shut the door I guess I was nervous and not thinkign cause
I undid anouther one which was too nuch and may have been the thing that
ruinied it all.  He stated teoll ing me about being late and even though I had
planned for this becasue I knew from the super that I eowuld have to plann for
it I was not really ready for it today ans was really nervous but I remembered
to go onto my knees and to begg him and say that I would do anything. but he
jus tlookeed at me funny so I tolld him I would suck his cock for him.  I just
came right out and said it.  It was I think I am getting used to being a slut
becasue of being used by my super and getting used to having sperm on my face. 
But any way he just looked at me for a while and then said " Is that what this
is all about? he said he had been wondering why after all this time I had
suddenly started comint in late and asked me if that was why.  if it was just
an exuse to offer "oral services .  I didn't know what to say I couldnt think
of a way to deny it but I could say yes either so I just staued there blushing
but he kept asking me untiol I finally admoitted that that was why. then he
asked me if that was why my uniform was unbuttoned because I want to show him
my breasts and I was so humiliated that I wanted to cry but and I coouldnt even
speak but I nodded my head yes.  So he said thatif I wanted to show them I
should take it right off. and I did!  blushing so hot that my face and chest
tingled and I could feel my heart pounding.  So then I was kneeling in front of
him just in my bra and he said I could take it off if I wantedand I suddenly
got nervous showint this young guy my droopy boobs but I did it and he
laufghed.  Not a lot, just sort of a snort mut I suddenly felt awfull.  totally
stupid a 41 year old woman showing her saggy boobs to a young guy like him. 
What did I expact?  BUt he was leannign on his desk right in front of me so I
thought he would still want me to suck his cok but his eyes were laughing at me
adn he took a picture off his desk and held it for me to see and said he did
not think I had met his girlfriend.  She was really very beautifl.  A slim
young girl who could have been a moddel and I knew how stupid I mu st look to
him.  He told me that she took very good care of him so he did not really need
me to suck himSo then he said instead of me succking his cock to keep my job he
had a different suggestion.  He would let me keep my job if I would start
coming in on time.  I started crying then.  I felt so stupid.  So undesireable.
 I just want to crawl awy and die.
He to ld me to go back to work then.  I don't know how I finishe dthe day.  I
wanted to leave and never go back but I need the job.  I felt sick all day.
Then when I got home I just wanted to have a quite nervous breakdown but chris
was ther with his girl friend and I just could not face them so I went out to
the italian restaurant around the corner.  I don;t normally drink but I thought
a glas of wine with dinner might help me calm down and then I had another.  I
know I had threee, but maybe more.  The waitres brought over a shooter and said
it was from the guy at the bar.  I looked at him and he had one too and held it
up in a toast but I really did not want it, but then he looked disapointed and
this exchange of looks across the restaurant kept until I felt like I had to I
felt like I had to so I drank it.  Also, he had made me laugh and it was the
best I had felt since this morning.  But then theree was another shooter and
then he was sitting at my table and we had more .  Alcohl hads i never have
been good at holding my alcohol and I think I told him every thing that had
hapend. I don't know how much I told him but the next thing I knew he went to
talk to somebody at the bar and then We were out behind the restaurant in the
parking lot between the dumpster and the fence and I was on my knees in a
puddle sucking his cock.  I knew it was wrong and that I should feel disgusted
and ashamed bu8t I guess I was too drunk to  care.  It just felt realy good to
be sucking cock.  I think after all those times with my super it just felt
familiar.
But then there were other people ther and I tryed to stop but Marchelo held my
head and started fucking my mouth and soon i wasn't doing anything any he was
just forcing my head on and off him and I remember crying.  I wasn't really
upset, I think it was was just a release of all the tension from the day.  Any
way, he cept fucking me until he pulled my head back and came all over my face
saying stuff like "is that what you wanted, Elizabeth?  A nice face full of
cum?"  I don't remember telling that but I must have.  But then there was
another guy holding a fist full of my hair in one hadn and feeding me his cock
with the other.  I knew I should refuse but it just seemed easier to go along
so I open my mouth and started sucking.
Someone pulled up my coat an skirt up and started squeezing my ass and then
ripede my panties and started playiing with my pussy.  I am pretty sure it was
Marchelo because I kept hearing his voice near my ear teling the guy that he
had to "blow it on her face.  Thats what she wants.  Blow it all over her
cace".  Btween hearing him say that and having him play with my pussy and
having some man I did not even know hold me by a fist full of hair while I
sucked his cock in a back ally I was totally turned on and I came when he
pulled out squirted sperm in both my eyes.  BUt hen everything was so bluury I
couldn't see and someone else was holding my hair and telling me to beg to suck
his cock so I did.  I said everything he told me to.  I told him I was a slut
and a dirty cocksucker and I don't remember what else.  Oh, I remeber saying
please alot and begging him to cum all over me.  I think I was actually crying
in desaraption before hi finally let me suck his cock.  Then someone stuck a
bottle in my pussy and I was so horny that I grabbed it and started fucking it.
 They all thought that was funny and hooted and laughed at me but some how I
didn't care, or I think I even like that they were laughing at me.
I don't really remember much after that.  I know there was at leat one more guy
but but I drunk and basically blind and it all sort of runs together.  I have
no idea how long i was out there or how many guys or what  I remember realizing
there was a really bright light on me for a while.  I think it must have been
car headlights.  God, I am so disgusted with myself. When they were done with
me Marchelo said he would give me a ride home but I just wanted to get away so
I insisted on walking but he insisted on walkin me.  I remember him now he kept
asking me if it was okay if I go home like this but I don't think I realy
understood what he was saying its a good thig he did cause I couldn't make my
key work so he had to help and even came up to make sure I got in my apartment
okay.  I was afraid he would want to stay but he didn't.  I wish he didn't know
where i live.
I didn't feel good and I was going toward the batheoom I stopped to pet
Charles, thats hte cat, adn Erin was just coming out of Chris' rrom to go tho
the bathroom too.  She had her her pink lipstick smeared allover her mouth and
I knew that she had been sucking his cock.  I have seen her do it and I love
wathcing her do it becasuse she and I think I kind of stopped in the hall way
because I was picturing her little head bobbing like that when I noticed how
she was looking at me.  She looked loke she had seen a ghost and I could not
figure our why but I think i started figuring out so I just tol her to go ahead
and I ran and hid my room.  

God, you wouldn't believe what I looked like.  My face was shiny with steaks
and lumps sperm and my hair was totally matted with it and it was on my coat
too.  white adn crusty streaks.  I hope they come out.   It wasn't even all dry
yet and ther was so much of it! I was a totla mess and looking at myself in the
mirror started to turn me on because I felt like suck a dirty slut with all
those mens sperm that I didn't even know.  Thats when I brought the computer
inot my room so I could write this.  I like writing about what happened to me
while I am still all covered with it but it is all dry now and tight on my face
and I will and I don't know how I will get it all ourt of my hair now.  But my
pussy has mad a big puddle now but my dress wass allready ruined and I know
what I did was gross but it turned me on and it turns me on noew to think about
it.  ButI'm afraid of what Erin must think and whether she would tell Chris. I
don't know what I'll say to him if he asked me.   Maybe I'll just pretend, oh I
don't know.  It is really awful but I guess I am just to drunk and horny to
wory anout it write now.  I told myself thet maybe she would not know what it
was but I think she knew exactly what it was.  She should. she swallows enough
of it.  She is such a litttle slut.  
oh, I just had such a big orgam thinking about when she sucks his cock.  I
can't belive i get tuened on watching that but I do.  God I am so disgusting. 
BUt it really does turn me on so much.  I teyid not to but its like I can't
stop myself.  Id ont feel very good, I better go.